Family Photo Session~Fall 2014

Our first pictures together as a family of 7. Only missing Desaray....It's been a long road, but we are finally together. Although I am desperately aware of the circumstances and broken world we live in that led to the need for adoption for my boys, I cannot extend enough thankfulness to my God for choosing me to be their mother. I know that I  make a TON of mistakes every single day, and don't deserve them. But...it's grace.

This man has held my heart for almost 18 years now. Who would have thought that a prom date would have worked out so beautifully?

Because I want to laugh and smile and spend every moment we can being happy. Not selfishly happy. Not content to let life pass by, but by making a difference. In big and small ways, to all sorts of people.

I am seriously fearful about my future as a hard nosed Mama. These boys are handsome. Stay away girls!

No, they do not always get along this well.

What a dreamy look on my lovely girl's face. I wonder what she was thinking about? So full of wisdom for only almost 11 years here on earth, and loving.

Special compliments to our friend Tammy Stayton for taking these beautiful photos. We aren't an easy crew to work with!

Summer Updates...



This boy is absolutely blossoming. In the past two weeks he has began speaking in full English sentences, not just to let us know his wants/needs, but to actually communicate! He's having conversations now, which is incredibly cute. He's doing well on potty training (still not 100% in underwear yet) and going to his Ms Susan's (daycare/love) 3 days a week. He is becoming more loving towards me, which was a big deal....at first he only seemed to pay attention to Jason. He is in perfect health and is doing beautifully. Praise the Lord!



This sweet girl is growing up all too quickly. She is becoming more opinionated and sassy by the minute, while practicing her sharpening wit on her Daddy and big brothers. She is smart and driven. Watch out world.

These two are doing better together, less fighting overall, although Jackson is 100% sure to make sure that Jeff knows he's the "little brother"

Jeff seems to be settling in more as time goes on. Seemingly small things are the ones that are the most difficult--I won't mention them all here for his privacy, but think: social skills, eye contact, etc. We teach our children those things from birth on up, but they probably don't seem as important when you are in an orphanage full of kids. I worry for him and starting public school tomorrow, but he is a smart, good boy, and will learn very quickly. I am praying that God guards his heart, because it is tender.

Wessie and Daddy. Jason is doing just fine, I'm happy to report! Wes has struggled to find his way since the boys came home in April. In many pictures, you will find Weston frowning/looking sad. I have talked to him about that, and he tells me, "He doesn't like smiling". I'm unsure how much of it is being "like Daddy", who apparently doesn't like smiling in pictures either, and how much is a little bit of loss.....so we have both tried to show him extra attention and love. I noticed yesterday though, how close Wes and Jeff seem. For the most part, they are BFF's and spend most of their time together. My prayer for Weston is that he continues to know how much he is loved, and his place in our family.

Jackson's personality has come out full force this summer, and for the most part, I can say that I love being Mom to a teenage boy. He is so forthcoming and sensitive, funny and always joking. He's not afraid to laugh at himself and knows how "good he looks in pink". He has taken to babying Riley, pampering her, which Riley loves. Jackson is going into 8th grade this year in New Washington, he's nervous but hopeful I think. I pray that he doesn't change, pray that he keeps his sensitive and giving heart and funny sense of humor. I pray that I am the Mom that he needs, and that he continues to turn to me and his Dad when he has questions or problems.

And here you can see how my "Baby Huey" has grown. He is a couple of inches taller than me already. We are pictured above with Harley Grace, marching in the annual Firemen's Picnic parade for Aunt Nancy McDevitt, who is running for Clark Co Treasurer.

And that's all sunshine there!

Riley's first year of 4-H was a success. I think Jackson was inspired, because he took a bunch of picture on vacation to do photography  next year.

Riley showed "Marietta", a boer goat doe at the 4H fair. Marietta did well for her, getting 1st place. Riley had a good, but tiring week, helping feed, clean out pens, walk goats, wash and groom them with the Giltner clan. I know she made happy memories and learned valuable life skills.

He did it! And that's how I'll end this post. Because there is NEVER a dull moment at the Bibb House.

Father's Day Revamp~Learning to Parent Without a Dad

So it's Father's Day--happy day to all you hardworking Dad's out there who go out, "kill something" and drag it home to your families everyday. Happy father's day to the ones who listen, the ones who struggle, the ones who lead their families through difficult times. Happy father's day to the ones who follow Jesus, not because they are weak, not because they aren't confident, but because in Him, they are the strongest. Happy father's day to the ones who rock their babies, no matter how big they get. Happy father's day to the ones who are longing for babies, but haven't gotten there yet.

Jason is an inspiration to me as a Father. He's not perfect. I should probably make that clear. He would be the first one to tell you that he isn't the most patient, loses his temper at times, gives out punishments/consequences that he has no intention of enforcing. But this man has got down what it is to be a Father.

Bio kids and adopted ones, he loves them all. And he loves them all with  a special kind of love. He shows them. He talks to them. He listens. He plays. He laughs. He understands how important a Daddy is.

And I guess that's the part I'm so impressed about. He didn't have a Father.

Of course, everyone HAS one. But his has NEVER acknowledged him. He lives locally, but the story goes, cheated on his wife....so has NEVER acknowledged Jason in any way. He's still with his wife and has a grown son--Jason's brother. None of them acknowledge Jason.  It would be so, so easy to let the heartache and unfairness of that situation overwhelm and frustrate Jason to the point that he "checked out". But he doesn't. He keeps working. Keeps improving. Keeps loving. And sometimes that love can be overwhelming.

Like when I came home from Haiti and asked him what he thought about adopting Jeff too. "Yes, let's do it." That's special folks. Like the nights he's sat up and prayed for situations with a child which were completely out of his control. That's being a Dad. Maybe when he talks about the car accident the girls and I had two summers ago and he gets so choked up that the tears cloud his eyes. That's love.

I submit this: that kind of love can only come from one place-from above. Jason has learned how to be a Father from his heavenly one. And God has given him all the tools and help he needs. Help to overcome a crappy childhood, help to put aside resentments, help to grow beyond what he ever thought he could be.

So, although everyone has a Dad, I think my kids are the luckiest ones in the universe. They have a Dad who didn't know how to be one. And he's turned out to be a pretty darn great one.

Love you Jason! 

Photo Dump~Summer Preview



I <3 SUMMER. There's nothing quite like living without a dictated schedule 6 days a week. I love the smell of cut grass, the blue skies, the pop up thunderstorms, the smell of chlorine (although trust me, ours smells more like pond scum and tadpole than chlorine right this moment). I love waking up on my own, and letting my kids wake up on their own. I love going to the drive in, staying up until you are practically delirious and then doing it again. There's nothing like burning a bonfire and cooking hot dogs and marshmallows over it. Telling ghost stories and summer camp. Summer isn't just for kids, but why are almost all the best memories in summer? Here's to making more summer memories than ever during Summer 2014!



At some point during a moment of Mommy desperation, probably during a long, hot summer, I taught my eldest two kids how to make "fairy houses". Desaray and Jackson spent hours gathering twigs, rocks, moss, leaves and other items to build the fairies houses to live in out beside our house. They would sit in the shade and while away the hours doing this. My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest on Saturday when Jackson (who is more and more grown up everyday) told Zeke that they would go build a fairy house. Jackson's fairy house looks more like a Viking longhouse, but you get the idea.

When I think about my family's current state: I think "boys". Riley is the only girl left at home except for me, and it's hard for a sister out there! I pray that I can be the kind of mother that she needs, because I know she needs more more than ever now.

Zeke's tricycle from Mamaw & Papaw=winning. That is all.

Oh. My. Heart. The look of concentration on this child's face melts me. He is literally just deciding who he is going to be. How precious is that? He's still little enough that he loves to hug me right around my middle and squeeze. But big enough that he doesn't want to be babied all of the time. He is doing so well at being a big brother, but struggles a bit to find his "new place" in the family. Part of adoption is realizing that our family will never be the same again, and it's a bit sad for everyone in that way. Wessie isn't the "baby" anymore, no matter how much he may want to be. Last week he had a bad afternoon and acted out a little. At his Daddy's advice, I took him for a drive and talked to him. Sometimes a boy just needs to drive on country roads, look at the sunset and talk to his Mama. I am so thankful that Jason was able to see his need and identify it. I have a pretty special husband.

Jeff. So much to say. He has big plans, big dreams. He is serious and goofy. He is quiet yet silly. He is confident and shy. He is a self proclaimed "winner" at all things. (We are working on that). He wants to change his name to Jefferson. I only found that out today. He announced it when we were touring the elementary aged kids' new school today. He related that we had given Zeke a "good new name" in addition to his old one, and he wanted one too. He said he wanted to be Jefferson. He said it so imploringly and so sincerely that I think it will probably happen. So....may I introduce to you Jefferson Lamarre Bibb? Of course, he's still Jeff....but whatever makes the kid happy! (Interestly enough, he also related that he wanted to be Jefferson because he is "our son".)

More big brother love. I am seriously impressed with Jackson taking on this role with such enthusiasm.

And Sugar Baby and her Daddy.

Zeke is enjoying his new sandbox and his plethora of Super-Hero apparel he received for his birthday. He's a blessed kid, but more importantly, we are a blessed family, who have such good friends and family to support and love us.

I'm glad Jackson doesn't have FB yet, so I can post embarrassing pics like this of him without fear of recrimination or payback. He was showcasing the obscenly large piece of chocolate in his moose tracks ice cream, but he looks like an escaped convict from forensic psychiatry here.

Wal-Mart. The "market". The really, really big market, that according to Jeff, overprices everything. "Mom, how much is a bike?" Me: "$99". Jeff: "What? Too much Mom! Too much!" This goes on for minutes, hours, perhaps days. Everything is cute, everything is nice, he would like 3 of each. But it's all too much money! Bless it.

Selfie of me and my baby girl. I know selfie's aren't cool for my age, but I seriously want to record every minute with this girl. She's going to be a world changer. She tells me she wants to be a missionary doctor. She doesn't know where, but when I say that she's smart enough to do just that--I mean it. She's got the goods.

Basketball is not Jeff's sport of choice, but Herby was there, so he played anyway! Jackson is so excited about going to public school this next year, he has been practicing basketball everyday. I hope he gets to play!

Just a little bit of sass.

All dressed up for Honor's Banquet. And did I mention he has a girl crush/female friend? I refuse to say girlfriend about my 13 year old, but seriously--he says he has a girlfriend. This brings up a whole set of conversations and issues that I was hoping to avoid for a while, but also presents the obvious conclusion--he's growing up too fast.

**So, that's it for the Bibb tribe for this week. Pray for us as we transition through some non-adoption changes in our lives. Nothing bad, just needed change. And for the love of all that's holy--let's slow time down, shall we? I'd like summer to drag out at least a couple of months longer than it's going to. Solidarity my friends!

Our New Normal



Life has taken on a new normal. We aren't a family of 5 anymore (at home), but a family of 7.




There's a lot more work. More laundry, more groceries, better preparation is a "must"



But there's also the funny, the sweet, the irreverent....Jeff told Jason randomly this week: "I love my fat Mama." Now, I just can't make that up. Jason did have to tell him about the cultural appropriateness of calling someone fat and that it wasn't a good thing, lol. But seriously, :)

The irreplaceable....these moments.




The goofy, because that's who we are. I thank God everyday for our new normal. It's not easy, it's messy and complicated, culturally complex and nuanced. It's grace filled and not-so-grace-filled, depending upon what day you catch us. It's busy and frenetic, stressful and hopeful. It's not holy, but it's altogether lovely.

 

Homecoming

It's time my friends. If you have followed us for any length of time, you know that the last few months have been a test in patience and how we've longed to have our boys home with us.

The waiting is over.

Sunday Jason and I will board a plan to Haiti to bring them home.

If you want to meet us at the airport, we will be landing in Louisville on TUESDAY, APRIL 15th at 2:25pm. (Incidentally, that's also Jason's birthday, which is kinda cool). With 2 new American citizens. Who just happen to be our sons.

I have a feeling there will be tears.

Thank you for hoping with me. Thank you for praying with me. And thank you for listening. Praise the Lord.

Sunday Night=HOPE

The adoption journey is a funny thing. As an adoptive parent, you have the support of your family and friends. They are invaluable, and truthfully will be the ones who are there to support you and your family once your child/children come home.

But, along the way....along the journey, as an adoptive mom I have met this beautiful, aching community of other adoptive parents (admittedly mostly Mamas) who are on the same journey, experience the same hurts and have the same hopes.

At times, while my jargon of IBESR, MOI, Parquet, USCIS, etc may seem foreign to my family and friends--these people get it.

So, while I was just feeling sorry for myself this weekend....I got a wake up call from a couple of adoptive Mamas.

See, the weekends are silent. The weekends mean no progress in the adoption world. It means about 55 hours without a word on your case, or any hope for any movement. It means trying to put away your smart phone (which incidentally, you check your email on about every hour); it means knowing that the Embassy (in my case) is closed and won't re-open until Monday morning at 7am. The weekends can be painful.

But....my friends reminded me of this...."Sunday nights bring renewed hope."

Thanks Dena for the sweet reminder.