Still Waiting....

Still. Waiting. I was waiting here
And here, we didn't think we had very long to wait. Wrong.

This was about waiting also. I see a trend here.

But, as I look back, I realize something. There is beauty in the waiting. Although my attempt at satire in the picture above doesn't really reflect it....there's something beautiful about longing for something so much that you will wait for it.

So here's part of a post I wrote at the end of 2012....I think I needed to read it tonight. Just as I felt anger begin to bubble up inside of me, just as I began to question the purpose of the Creator, just as I felt hopeless and at all at once self-righteous, I read this.

"You see, this adoption dream was not borne of my own need for more to do, to decrease social injustice or to impact our world. We didn't decide to adopt just to expand our family, because I was bored or because of some sense of responsibility or guilt after going to Haiti. It was our response to His call. Simple as that. He squeezed our hearts and we said "ok"....

I wonder how much easier everyday life would be if we listened in every aspect of our lives like we've obeyed in this one. How many heartaches could be avoided? How many disappointments foregone? How many broken roads detoured? Could He want to be involved in our choices daily? Does he have something to say about our jobs? Our choice of friends? What about our education? Does He care about our words? Our actions? Our thoughts? What choices can we make without His approval?

You see, we are both by nature fiercely independant. Jason is more analytical and controlling of situations. I'm more laid back and intuitive to them. We formulate a plan, we examine every angle, and as our Pastor preached on Sunday, we then ask God to bless it and ask for His help. Just like He has to bless a plan that isn't His at all. Just like He's waiting to fulfill all my wants and desires. WRONG. That is where we go so terribly wrong. The point of this life is to point to Him. He is in control. And if we want to live in the grace that He so freely pours out in response to obedience, we must not only heed, but seek His will first.

Through this adoption and every facet of our lives, the rest of the world should see the beauty and grace of Christ. If they cannot see it~~if it is dimmed by my bad attitude, by my sense of self importance or worth, then I am failing. And I don't want to fail.

Thank you Lord Jesus for blessing us. I know we do not deserve it. But we thank you for it anyway. Amen."

**And may I add to my 2012 post--Thank you Lord Jesus for giving us this journey. Thank you for what we have learned and all we still have to learn. Thank you for never leaving us alone in this. And thank you Lord in advance for bringing our sons home to us.